Rain,

Eyes closed
Light off
Music blasting
And still, the peace that accompanies your sound is forever lasting
Breezy howls
Astray moon
And still, your persevering aroma does not leave my bedroom--
My cave--
My happy place
Formed with your aid
Because no matter the case you stayed
...by my side
As I lay in bed listening to the sweet sound of your drops hitting my windowpane
It reassures me and just for a second; my mind shifts from the unbearing pain
Believing that this might be the last sound that I'll ever hear
So please, promise that you'll stay with me until I disappear

~Your sad friend

04/05

Wow. I'm eighteen
But I feel eerie, almost like a dream
I guess being eighteen does not really mean much
When I'm stuck in my old ways
And practically out of touch
With the world around me--
I don't know...
I feel so uncanny
Like being alive wasn't meant for me
And it just so happens to be
that I am...
I can't help but wonder
What is the meaning of life when all seems to fail?
With a simple touch from me all withers and sails
I guess purpose is what I really seek
And I'm being patient
Through every week...
And every day... every hour
And every minute of my scandalous ways
I guess I'll just keep praying for better days...

~Ketia V.

Reflection

Ask a Black Person what’s keeping them from their success

They gon turn around and blame it all on the system and White people

Saying that it doesn’t entitle progress

And if you ask me, That’s just a feeble answer 

To conceal the fact that we’re screaming “Black Lives Matter”

But do our lives really matter

When we are the ones eliminating one another?

I mean, don’t get me wrong the system has its role

And it is to turn us against each other 

So we don’t get to our freedom goal

Look around!

We act like we weren’t killing each other before police officers decided to give us a hand

Then we turn around and rap about standing up to the man

Congratulations Uncle Sam got us exactly where he wanted

Standing up stands for nothing if we fall in his trap that’s set against us

We kill our brothers and sister and talk about it with bliss

And act as if we care about it

When a White police officer takes part in our quandary

We begin to scream with great ecstasy

‘Black Lives Matter’

--What a shame…

Black Lives DON’T Matter

Black Live will never matter ‘till we go against the system

And love each other genuinely

Our lives will never matter ‘till we stop giving other races 

The satisfaction to fear us and call us savages

I mean no disrespect but we do all the damages; to ourselves

And Black Men where are you when your daughter needs your help

When your son needs a father figure

But you ain’t here for neither

Yeah I’m talking to our Black Men 

Who believes that the system is set against them

But no that one is all on you

And don’t expect me to walk around screaming free you

You knew where you would end up, it ain’t nothing new

I hope you take the time to reconsider your life too

And next time, before you blame the system keep in mind it starts with you

With Us

Because our Blackness will always be discussed

Negatively.

~Ketia V.

!!

Strong people crash too…

Let me tell you.

When the sun don’t shine

When the roses don’t bloom

When the universe decides to take back control

We crash

And of course 

Our burdens

They stay with us

They don’t leave

They haunt us for eternity because we allow them to feed on our ego

Yup!

Strong people crash too

We believe that being strong means hiding away from our very own emotions

And conserve our feelings to the point of no return

Hoping to extract them from us

Truth is, strong people are weak

And we know it

Because—

When the clouds wrap around the sun and darkness form

We crash

When the cold winter nights rise and the loneliness creeps 

We crash

Strong people crash too

Let me tell you

But how can one perceive themself as strong if they don’t manifest their freedom?

What is your freedom?

~ Ketia V.

12:00 AM

Lol. It’s funny really... well if you ask me.

I couldn’t possibly ignore the sharp feeling of sorrow that fills my chest as I write yet another tragedy

But—

I don’t get it…

You said that you weren’t “the one”

...I don’t get it.

Could you have possibly distinguished my admiration towards you?

It’s no secret that you want me too

Or was it just my fantasy that led me so this abyss full of despondency

I’m not sure why it is so hard for me to let you know what I’m feeling

I suck up all the emotions and the action

And instead, I hallucinate about what it would be like with you through erotic videos of other men

I wished the adrenaline that supplements the climax lasted for an eternity, but even so, you’re clueless to the power you hold in me

So again I wonder

What do you mean by you're not the one? 

Don’t hold off the answer because the loneliness is slowly creeping through my veins

Causing my emotions to be unstabilized

But the clock’s ticking intensely and vigorously racing to hit 12:00 am

...and I’ll be patient because…

To me you are everything.

~Ketia V.

Reflection

Ask a Black Person what’s keeping them from their success

They gon turn around and blame it all on the system and White people

Saying that it doesn’t entitle progress

And if you ask me, That’s just a feeble answer 

To conceal the fact that we’re screaming “Black Lives Matter”

But do our lives really matter

When we are the ones eliminating one another?

I mean, don’t get me wrong the system has its role

And it is to turn us against each other 

So we don’t get to our freedom goal

Look around!

We act like we weren’t killing each other before police officers decided to give us a hand

Then we turn around and rap about standing up to the man

Congratulations Uncle Sam got us exactly where he wanted

Standing up stands for nothing if we fall in his trap that’s set against us

We kill our brothers and sister and talk about it with bliss

And act as if we care about it

When a White police officer takes part in our quandary

We begin to scream with great ecstasy

‘Black Lives Matter’

--What a shame…

Black Lives DON’T Matter

Black Live will never matter ‘till we go against the system

And love each other genuinely

Our lives will never matter ‘till we stop giving other races 

The satisfaction to fear us and call us savages

I mean no disrespect but we do all the damages; to ourselves

And Black Men where are you when your daughter needs your help

When your son needs a father figure

But you ain’t here for neither

Yeah I’m talking to our Black Men 

Who believes that the system is set against them

But no that one is all on you

And don’t expect me to walk around screaming free you

You knew where you would end up, it ain’t nothing new

I hope you take the time to reconsider your life too

And next time, before you blame the system keep in mind it starts with you

With Us

Because our Blackness will always be discussed

Negatively.

~Ketia V.